that's an acceptable place to lick
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
Randomize
