i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
Just wrote the directions to get to the girls house im hooking up with on the back of my marriage certificate. Officially worst husband ever.
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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