Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
Woke up in an unfamiliar basement in a sleeping bag with Matt to a police officer shining his flashlight in my eyes and asking me my birth date and social security number. My morning went swimmingly.
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
Randomize
