girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
Randomize
