operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
Yeah everywhere i go i feel like a 3rd or 5th or (2n+1)th wheel. That's right, i'm a mathematically depressed drunk.
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
Randomize
