i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
Randomize
