Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
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