so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
she smelled like a LAN party
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
Randomize