it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
My niece just threw up all over me. My sister's breastmilk was on my face. This is like a fucked-up porno gone terribly wrong.
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
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