i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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