Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
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