I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
Randomize
