If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
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