found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
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