Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
Randomize
