I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
babies were throwing up all over the place
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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