is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.
You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
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