Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
Randomize
