Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
Um....I woke up to a lipgloss covered bottle of Jack daniels in my arms..
You've kissed worse.
Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
23 Roommates Share Secrets Their Roomie Thinks They Don’t Know
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
29 Cringeworthy Situations People Realized They Shouldn’t Be In
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
Randomize
