when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
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