Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

(407): View more from Florida

so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all

Fav 14 919 2636
share tweet
(804): View more from Virginia

So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...

Fav 63 1109 9810
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(403): View more from Alberta, CA

Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.

(1-403): View more from Alberta, CA

Your godly.

Fav 13 4483 1410
share tweet
(847): View more from Illinois

I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.

Fav 10 1541 4983
share tweet
Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July
Read it at the TFLN blog
(770): View more from Georgia

Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.

Fav 20 3014 1248
share tweet
(867): View more from Yukon/N.W.Territory

We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.

Fav 4 1205 696
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(803): View more from South Carolina

Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.

Fav 8 999 1615
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(603): View more from New Hampshire

Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.

Fav 2 540 776
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(214): View more from Texas

I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.

Fav 0 26 36
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT