So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
These 19 Underage Drinkers Epicly Got By With A Horrible Fake ID
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
These Are The 21 Strangest Sexual Fantasy Confessions
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow