I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
cat food counts as protein by the way
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
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