im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
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