i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
Randomize
