Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
You're a hot mess, you know that?
At least I'm a FUN hot mess. Like a train crash full of pizza, fireworks and glitter.
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
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