you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
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