just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
Also, apparently I'm only coherent when I'm drunk sexting. And then I'm grammatically perfect and impressively eloquent.
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
Randomize
