It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
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