wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
Dude, this chick just tossed my salad hard. All that I could picture was a dog trying to get the last of the peanut butter out of the jar of Jiff and trying not to think of how grotesque my last dump was.
Then she tried to kiss me and I wouldn't and she got pissed off and went to sleep. Then about an hour later, her kid called her. She went home and on the way out I told her to wash her mouth before she kissed her kid good night. Weird night..
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
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