so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
