Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
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