Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
It took me years of patience and pilates and yoga and flirting to land that penis. So yeah, I’m going to ride it into the sunset and live orgasmically ever after
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