Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
Why is the turtle in the toilet again?
Well as I was puking in the tub I put him in there to keep me company but I am almost positive the original setup was him in the tub and me next to the toilet...I hope he likes tequila
Randomize
