It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
Randomize
