I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
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