it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
Since she's grinding up on your thigh right now, I'm sending you this text hoping it makes your phone vibrate in her vagina
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
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