I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
Randomize
