he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
I didn't notice because vodka
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
Randomize
