She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
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