I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
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