I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
Randomize
