I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
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