He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
Randomize
