At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
