Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
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