This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Randomize
