dear santa what can i do with your candy cane?
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
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