That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
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