He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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