Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
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