Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
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