the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
Shitshow foam night was such a success
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize
