You know the @ sign on twitter? i wish there was one of those in real life so that the smokin' hot guy at the bar would know the slutty unbuttoning of my shirt was directed @ him, not @ his friend who looks like Mickey Rourke post-face melting
do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
Randomize