Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
Randomize
