Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
I think scott just propositioned me for sex
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
pray to the hookup gods
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
Okay, since we're going to be living together and I'm obviously better than you at everything, I have one single simple rule that I want you to follow: DO. NOT. FUCK WITH ME.
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
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