I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
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