I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
Randomize
