I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Randomize
