Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
This has been your unwelcomed wake-up call, brought to you by exes united. Have a good day, to opt out please type "STOP", to continue but act as though they do not exist please enter "DON'T CARE" for random daily wake up texts by exes united please press "PSYCHO!"
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
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