We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
I wannas sexs uuuuu
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
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